1950s vs 2020s

 

  We, as a society, love to boast about how far we've come. While we still have a way to go in so many ways, we're always proud of how the role of women has changed. While the 50s had women staying at home, being a housewife and caring for the children, now we are all expected to be career women. Just as controlling and restrictive and something that is often out of necessity rather than choice. There are those that choose, when possible, to be stay-at-home wives and mothers. There are those that would rather have a career and there are those that have no choice. However, what is expected in both cases is very different these days. So let's see how being a good wife in the 50s, compares to being a good wife today.

Have dinner ready.

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

  Many couples now make meals together, take turns, have the man doing it, or have the woman take on the traditional role. Cooking is often seen as a pleasure rather than a chore (not always) and while there are women who like to take on the traditional role of cooking for their family, they are not expected to have dinner on the table by five and while they may plan in advance, it's more for their own reasons than out of a need to care for their husbands.

Prepare yourself.

Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Women today often get in close to the same time as their husbands, both having been at work. While some women may touch up their make-up it is for their benefit so they don't leave work a mess. As for having a rest and perking up, we not only rarely have time, we are just as work-weary as our husbands.

Clear away the clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house. Gather up the books, toys, and newspapers. Dust the tables so that they appear clean. Your husband will feel that he has reached his haven of rest and order. Doing this for him will give you a lift also.

As our children are usually at school or nursery, clutter is either from the early morning or is our own. Sometimes we manage to clear it, sometimes we just navigate. While it can feel good to have a tidy up or have a tidy house, often such tasks are reserved for weekends or our one day off. Also, it's usually a joint job for couples. Sometimes it is never touched except five minutes before you're having guests.

Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash their faces and hands. Comb their hair and change their clothes if it is necessary to make them look presentable to him. They are “God’s Creatures” and your husband would like to see them playing their part.

We keep the kids alive these days and we're proud. Yes, we sometimes tell them to clean up but that's usually because we don't want whatever they've put their hands in today to poison them. If our spouses expect us to present them with beautiful clean children, we leave them alone with them for a few hours, we never hear a complaint again.

Minimize all noise.

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noises of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum. You’ve had plenty of time to do these things during the day. Don’t do them now. Encourage your children to be quiet. Be happy to see your husband. Greet him with a warm smile.

We've been at work, the dishwasher needs running we run it! A lot of chores are done as and when these days. And while we probably are still telling the kids to sit down and shut up and we're happy to see the other person, we're both tired from work, we smile tiredly if at all.

Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints.

Don’t complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through today.

If we cooked dinner you better be home in time to eat it. We didn't go to that effort for it to go cold and dry and for you to have to stick it in the microwave. And what you've gone through we've gone through. While we don't necessarily want you to come home for us to jump down your throat, sometimes we need to vent a little, let you know how we're feeling and sometimes you irritate the heck out of us, and honey, you need to understand it has just been one of those days!

Make him comfortable.

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down for a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

If he gets to lie down, WE get to lie down. If he has a drink WE have a drink. Some couples share a drink. A warm drink when they get in from work a colder drink when the kids are in bed. If we greeted our husband with an offer for them to lie down while we fetch them a drink and take off their shoes, they'd think we'd finally cracked, or we'd broken something they loved, or someone had died, or we crashed the car, or the bodysnatchers had finally come...

Listen to him.
You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first.

We both talk when we're ready, though if it's important, we kind of need to tell him asap, otherwise we will forget. Both people need to be heard in a relationship. Some like to talk as soon as they get home, some like to wait a few minutes, some like to wait until they're both having a bit of relaxing time. We listen to our husbands and they listen to us. That's how it works.

Make the evening his.

He is special! Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax. Remember that you relaxed all day waiting for his return. Now it’s his turn to enjoy what you enjoyed.

Oh hell no! Unless you're the crazy kept woman who calls yourself a housewife (housewives do housework dear, they don't have a maid) you've had a hard day too. Stay-at-home wife or not, you'll have had hard work and strain and pressure just like he is. We are BOTH needing to relax and unwind. We BOTH need to be made to feel special once in a while. Also, I find it so strange that women were expected to do all the cleaning, make the beds, look pretty and make the children look pretty yet they have spent the day 'relaxing'. It's like the women who work from home and have husbands that, for some reason, think that means they sit on the couch watching crap all day. Work is work. 

There are women who actually choose to be like Stepford Wives and enjoy being the epitome of a good wife from the 1950s. There are women who refuse to be anything like those women. There are people who would like to have that option but don't. There are plenty of single women who have to do all the housework and cooking while holding down a job. There are also men in that situation. There are men that like to take on the 'traditional' women's roles and be the stay-at-home dads and are househusbands. We do have more of a choice these days, even if some options are determined by the state of our finances more than personal preference. All in all, a perfect wife by 1950s standards is pretty alien to us now. Now don't get me wrong, if you prefer to take on traditional roles that's your perogative  when you try to impose it on others, that's when we will have problems. Are you more a 50s wife or a modern woman? Let me know in the comments.